"Иногда важно уметь говорить, потому что и в молчании – нет большого смысла." ©
One attitude, indispensable for the practice of the art of
loving, which thus far has been mentioned only implicitly
should be discussed explicitly since it is basic for the practice
of love: activity. I have said before that by activity is not
meant "doing something," but an inner activity, the productive
use of one's powers. Love is an activity; if I love, I am in
a constant state of active concern with the loved person, but
not only with him or her. For I shall become incapable of relating
myself actively to the loved person if I am lazy, if I am
not in a constant state of awareness, alertness, activity. Sleep
is the only proper situation for inactivity; the state of awaker
ness is one in which laziness should have no place. The paradoxical
situation with a vast number of people today is that
they are half asleep when awake, and half awake when asleep,
or when they want to sleep. To be fully awake is the condition
for not being bored, or being boring—and indeed, not to
be bored or boring is one of the main conditions for loving.
To be active in thought, feeling, with one's eyes and ears,
throughout the day, to avoid inner laziness, be it in the form
of being receptive, hoarding, or plain wasting one's time,
is an indispensable condition for the practice of the art of
loving. It is an illusion to believe that one can separate life
in such a way that one is productive in the sphere of love
and unproductive in all other spheres. Productiveness does
not permit of such a division of labor. The capacity to love
demands a state of intensity, awakeness, enhanced vitality,
which can only be the result of a productive and active
orientation in many other spheres of life. If one is not productive
in other spheres, one is not productive in love either.
loving, which thus far has been mentioned only implicitly
should be discussed explicitly since it is basic for the practice
of love: activity. I have said before that by activity is not
meant "doing something," but an inner activity, the productive
use of one's powers. Love is an activity; if I love, I am in
a constant state of active concern with the loved person, but
not only with him or her. For I shall become incapable of relating
myself actively to the loved person if I am lazy, if I am
not in a constant state of awareness, alertness, activity. Sleep
is the only proper situation for inactivity; the state of awaker
ness is one in which laziness should have no place. The paradoxical
situation with a vast number of people today is that
they are half asleep when awake, and half awake when asleep,
or when they want to sleep. To be fully awake is the condition
for not being bored, or being boring—and indeed, not to
be bored or boring is one of the main conditions for loving.
To be active in thought, feeling, with one's eyes and ears,
throughout the day, to avoid inner laziness, be it in the form
of being receptive, hoarding, or plain wasting one's time,
is an indispensable condition for the practice of the art of
loving. It is an illusion to believe that one can separate life
in such a way that one is productive in the sphere of love
and unproductive in all other spheres. Productiveness does
not permit of such a division of labor. The capacity to love
demands a state of intensity, awakeness, enhanced vitality,
which can only be the result of a productive and active
orientation in many other spheres of life. If one is not productive
in other spheres, one is not productive in love either.
by Erich Fromm, "Art of Loving"