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Записи с темой: english (список заголовков)
14:11 

39th dream

"Иногда важно уметь говорить, потому что и в молчании – нет большого смысла." ©
He came to me to tell that he finished his study finally... And more important earlier (like for year or six months earlier) and he's gonna take his diploma tomorrow.

I was surprised to see him telling me this.

@темы: Сны, English, Elisson

04:30 

Thinking and habits

"Иногда важно уметь говорить, потому что и в молчании – нет большого смысла." ©
They say that continuously negative way of thinking is dangerous with it's habit.
And then you find yourself searching for negative sides of things everywhere instead of enjoying the Life...
And it spoils beautiful and precious moments I'm not able to value anymore because anxiety, worry and fear are ruling my world.

And now I wonder if there is any way to change?

@темы: Цели, Страхи, Размышления, Поток сознания, Жизненное, Влияние, English, Я и мое безумие

12:57 

lock Доступ к записи ограничен

"Иногда важно уметь говорить, потому что и в молчании – нет большого смысла." ©
Памятка для себя.

URL
15:16 

38th dream

"Иногда важно уметь говорить, потому что и в молчании – нет большого смысла." ©
I've seen him in my dream...

I don't remember much.
We just argued about something, mb tried to make an agreement.

@темы: Сны, English, Elisson

15:57 

Achieved

"Иногда важно уметь говорить, потому что и в молчании – нет большого смысла." ©
18:08 

"Иногда важно уметь говорить, потому что и в молчании – нет большого смысла." ©
If I could suck dry all the hatred and pain in the World...

I would.

Even if took my life away.
If this sacrifice whould be final...

I would.

If only... I could.

@темы: English, Зверек по имени Веро, Поток сознания, Я и мое безумие

20:54 

What man do u want, Vero?

"Иногда важно уметь говорить, потому что и в молчании – нет большого смысла." ©
10:55 

36th dream

"Иногда важно уметь говорить, потому что и в молчании – нет большого смысла." ©
I'm visiting his mom at her place.
We just chat, nothing special.

Little bit later appears his father and brother and they are Hindu... And I think: "Why are they Hindu? Hindu guys have small dicks..."

I went outside, feeling storm comming.
It's already started to rain.
And I think if I take any picture then he will find out that I was here by recognizing an area.


I woke up.

@темы: Я и мое безумие, Сны, English, Elisson

18:05 

The Fear of Freedom

"Иногда важно уметь говорить, потому что и в молчании – нет большого смысла." ©
Why do I fear to be free?

Most of people confuse freedom with licentiousness.
They shit on everybody around following their needs and call this egoic way of thinking and acting freedom.

Real FREEDOM is ecological.
It's roots in deep feelings of unity, love and respect.
Therefore your actions will consider everybody's needs combined with yours.

There is great resposibility in learning ART of discerning what really matters, where ends your field and starts another's.
If anyone is trying to win more than they need out of their egoic wishes or it's you.

The only way to know is to act and experiment.

@темы: Цели, Страхи, Размышления, Поток сознания, Влияние, Follow your bliss, English, Я и мое безумие

13:02 

Rejection and uncertainty

"Иногда важно уметь говорить, потому что и в молчании – нет большого смысла." ©
I watch a lot of TED talks lately as a part of my English lessons with Lingualeo.
Yesterday I watched a talk about rejection and also found an interesting book about Antifragility theory.

And today I finally digested and combined them both into following...

It isn't "no-answer" what scares me the most.
Because when you get "yes" or "no" answer you just move on as a situation gets completely clear to you, so you understand what and how you have to do next.

What is the most frightening is uncertainty when you can't get any answer.
Because when you know nothoing you CAN actually DO nothing.
Any opportunity has equal results for you and it freezes out.
In this kind of situation you cannot make a choice and it stresses out, overloads the system of making decisions and burns all resouses out.

Thus, for me it is highly needed to learn to take a risk and act in total uncertainty.
Of course there will be failures.
And another thing I must learn is how to make these failures less fatal.

Therefore such a stressfull situations could make me better, stronger, make me learn new things and will get me to a higher results.

Jump into the Unknown.

@темы: Я и мое безумие, Цели, Страхи, Размышления, Психология, Поток сознания, Жизнеутверждающее, Жизненное, Достижения, English

22:33 

"Иногда важно уметь говорить, потому что и в молчании – нет большого смысла." ©
I miss him

@темы: Elisson, English, Я и мое безумие

22:30 

Money and hardwork

"Иногда важно уметь говорить, потому что и в молчании – нет большого смысла." ©
Money is a dust.
Actually, they are nothing but a bubble that dissapears when it's getting too big.

We are here working hard, givving our lives to earn money for this or that, taking credits, own debts... Which costs nothing but our efforts, our time, resources, lifes...

In the rest they are making their money out of nothing.
And the whole system supports this illusion of humster wheel.

Time to wake up.

This world has so many beautiful places which worth visiting.

@темы: English, Влияние, Цели, Страхи, Жизнеутверждающее, Размышления, Поток сознания, Философия, Жизненное, Follow your bliss, Я и мое безумие

16:33 

LP

"Иногда важно уметь говорить, потому что и в молчании – нет большого смысла." ©
The only things that keeps me sane is LP's songs.
While I'm listening her magnificent voice, remember her self-confident face the fear takes steps away.


And then I feel like maybe I have a chance to succeed.

@темы: English, Follow your bliss, Жизнеутверждающее, Страхи, Я и мое безумие

20:19 

34th dream

"Иногда важно уметь говорить, потому что и в молчании – нет большого смысла." ©
My apartment and room.
I'm wakinning in my bed when he gets up. He asks me if I want him to wake me up later when he leaves. I'm asking when it would happen and he says (while dressing up with his jacket) that he is leaving soon (like within next half an hour) and will return later.
I told him not to wake me.
He left.

I got up. Came to the kitchen of my old country house.
I see tones of durty dishes, pans on gas-stove, with noodles are cooking in them... Well, parts of noodles, mostly overcooked: some already frying, some sodden. I'm trying to save what's left of them, but hardly can, cuz no clean utensils. I'm thinking that Elisson could care of it better.
I talk to my mother asking why is everything so durty if there was no parties and rest. She says it was party and I remembered it.
He came back. As a girl now. With cutted out hair, square style. I tell him that it's so short, he asks me to wait with any comments until he undress his jacket. I see a tail tighted up with black thin ribbon. Cutted a little bit shorter than before, more remarkable that they are straightened.
He got out to smoke.
I came following him. I walk outside, jumped as light as feather and flyed over the roof, watching one snake crawling across it, and then another, bigger, and one more biggest. I follow them. They noticed me and started to chase me on back yard. I'm jumping over fences to get to a higher point to break away from them, but I failed. over its кирпичный and stone fences. Snakes took positions on opposite fences, ready to attack me. I thought I'm done but here comes the dogs and attack snakes, so I could safely pass.
I'm returned. I see he finished smoking and left there his jacket outside where he smoked. While searching for the sourse of smoke I am keening that he should be watchful. I find that it's a ashtray, not jacket.
I returned home and went to bathroom,
thinking that he could pay more attention to a person he lives with and at least talk. But the same time I noticed that he wants nothing of me, so why care?


I wake up.

@темы: English, Elisson, Сны

00:10 

Breaking Limits

"Иногда важно уметь говорить, потому что и в молчании – нет большого смысла." ©
I feel like my Essense overflows me.
I can do nothing to resist it.
It can't be held out...

I can't hide it by taking false masks to justify somebody's expectations: family, beloved, friends, lovers, coworkers...
I feel like I'll simply blow if I try to push myself into any Limits.

I am what I am.
I am Me.


Nothing can tame these streams anymore.

All I can do is to give up and give myself to the raging Storm of Life.

Wherever it has to take me.

@музыка: The Hit House feat. Ruby Friedman – Cut You Down

@темы: Я и мое безумие, Цели, Размышления, Поток сознания, Влияние, Follow your bliss, English

16:46 

"Иногда важно уметь говорить, потому что и в молчании – нет большого смысла." ©
16:44 

"Иногда важно уметь говорить, потому что и в молчании – нет большого смысла." ©
If people don't value sincere love, care and respect for them...
If they see only crushed, dependent and weak person in front of them...
If they cannot distinguish one from another...

Well...

It's their problem.

And I wish them all the best.


@темы: Я и мое безумие, Философия, Поток сознания, Мои высказывания, Жизнеутверждающее, Жизненное, Влияние, Follow your bliss, English

21:17 

"Иногда важно уметь говорить, потому что и в молчании – нет большого смысла." ©
We always try to decide how life should be instead of letting go and LIVING IT.

@темы: Я и мое безумие, Поток сознания, Памятка, Мои высказывания, Жизнеутверждающее, Жизненное, English

15:01 

33th dream

"Иногда важно уметь говорить, потому что и в молчании – нет большого смысла." ©
Remember nothing of the dream, but remember that I saw him, and even talked to him.

@темы: Elisson, English, Сны

16:55 

"Иногда важно уметь говорить, потому что и в молчании – нет большого смысла." ©

Diary

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